In 2013 San Diego had to dubious honor of it’s mayor, Bob Filner, resigning because of sexual harassment allegations, to which he later plead guilt to on a couple of them. My little tirade here is not about Filner, his behavior is reprehensible, but about the attitude related to the behavior by a major official that he expressed when interviewed.
During the interview he gave on either August 21 or 22, 2013, he stated, words to the effect, that Filner’s behavior were of product of his generation – my generation.
For the record Filner’s form of behavior was never considered acceptable. Because of the “Good Old Boy Club” mentality, people with money or power were able to get away this and other reprehensible behaviors. My generation considered Mr Filner’s arrogant and bulling behavior deplorable. It is unfortunate the people in power -- political or private sector -- still get away with much of it. And sadly, in most cases the victims often pay the price.
The point is that these forms of behavior were not considered acceptable by my generation as well as subsequent generations. I suspect the mistreatment, sexual or bully, has not been considered as acceptable by most civilized societies.
As I age I find it more-and-more difficult to understand people. I don’t know whether they’re prudes, ignorant, small minded, stupid or zealots. Parents complained to the Sesame Street producers that Katy Perry’s Outfit was to risque for the program. The dress she was wearing was about the same as a typical figure skater’s outfit, except it was perhaps a bit longer. They, the parents, complained that it was inappropriate for children of Sesame Street age.
I’m reminded of the story I heard abut an artist that painted nudes. He and his wife were worried what their three year old daughter would think if she saw him painting. The inevitable day came. The young girl burst into his studio while he was working, followed closely behind was his wife. The girl looked at the model from head-to-foot, place her hand on her hip, defiantly, and then turned to her parents. With a scowl on her face she angrily said, “If she can go without shoes, why can’t I?”
The point being that young children and toddlers don’t see the world as adults do. The fact is they have no concept of sex and what risque is all about. By the time a child would view the outfit Perry wore as risque they wouldn’t be watching Sesame Street.
It make one wonder if their child (parents that complained) go to the beach or community swimming pools or their own pool for that matter. Do these parents prevent the children from watching figure skating, gymnastics, the circus, .... I could go on-and-on naming typical events where the participants are minimally dressed and not considered risque. Maybe we should forbid cheerleading! I think that risque is in the mind of observer. I guess what really bothers me is that it seems like even the most innocuous things or words offend someone. I worked at a place where the boss’ secretary didn’t like the word “gal,” so it was forbidden to be used. If parents really are so concerned about what their children see on TV then they should complain about the commercial where kids are behaving badly and the parent is smiling.
I've said enough here but add related comments in my "Parenting" page.
Abby responded by telling the women not to judge the parents. It is the types of food eaten and lack of exercise. In essences, she blamed it on the environment.
Well, that's partly true. How and what we eat, coupled with lack of exercise can lead to being overweight. Let me spell it out. Where do you thing that children learn and develop their eating habits?
Over the years I've kind of observed that the weight of children is proportional to their parent. Heavy parents heavy children. It is not universal as there are exceptions, albeit not to many. I should write "Dear Abby" but I'm just to lazy and really don't care what she says. It the issue that bothers me. I would put the blame squarely on parents; that's where children learn their eating habits. I won't say that I was a great example. I guess I was lucky my kid, as was my wife and I, in the recommended weight range for our height. We did a lot right by accident.
If I were raising children today I would do the following:
The devil made me do it. It's not my fault, (you fill in the blank) made me do it. The point is, if I fail, it's not my fault. The article goes on to tell you how you can manipulate those you would blame for your failure into making them make you do it.
I get so pissed off and frustrated when people want to blame their actions on others.
While I was growing up, (some might say I never grew up) in the forties and fifties,1900, I seem to remember adults stressing, over and over again, that you need to take responsibility for your actions. Along came the sixties and seventies when psychiatry and sociology espouse that you are the way you are because the people you grew up with and your environment made you that way. It didn't matter that thousands of people in similar situation grew up differently; most of which became relatively normal.
If I were to answer her, I would say, "Sure it helps when you are supported or you can partner with someone when you strive to accomplish a goal. However, in the end you must take responsibility and, if necessary, do it on your own. The only person you can really blame for your failure is yourself.
What is really needed are laws that punish the people making the decisions. I'm not talking about bad decisions, I'm talking about the illegal ones. When they, The Feds or other government entities, fine a company, it's because of wrong doing by company personnel; usually upper management. I also wonder why nobody in the media circus does anything. I guess it's easier to go along with the way things are. After all who owns the media? Large corporations and they surely don't want to make themselves libel.
Food for thought: It would appear that babies, infant and small children are easier to take care of and deal with than an adolescent.