BCI - 1988 P. Arthur Stuart

Welcome to my world that explores, observes and documents the End Behavior; more commonly know as Asshole Behavior. This is not going to be a deep seated treatise on the psycholigical motivations which drives these things (things being people) to behave the way they do. I am sure that there are a million or more psychiatrists and therapists that are capable of doing it. They would also put the blame on things, the environment, relatives, co-workers, friends, enemies, the government, .... It seems that in this day and age, nobody is responsible for their own actions; it's a, "______ made me do it" society. Please note I don't refer to them as people or human during their behavioral exhibition. What I've attempted is to show that this form of behavior has many facets. If you care to, you can figure them out from what I've written and your own experiences. The evidence found in this work I put together could serve as a basis for comparison, and can be used to evaluate and assign a value or score.

I would be enthralled to receive your comments and suggests. A feedback form is provided at the end of this page. You can also send me a story, that I will rate and post (if I see fit to); goto the stories page -- the link is at the end of this pages.

Book Cover

B C I *

The Beginning
Study of
the End Behavior


Pi Arthur Stuart

* See definition inside cover.. DEFINITION

Inside Cover


BCI \ ci pronounced like sigh\ noun [Between the Cheeks Individual (Individuals or Institution)]
(1982) \ plural, possessive or both -- 's: 1. Asshole, polite form. 2. Individual, group or
organization that exhibits anus-type action or behavior. 3. Dumb, stupid or any adjective that
is representative of reprehensible character or behavior.
BCP [Between the Cheeks Person (Person or People)]
BCE [Between the Cheeks Entity (Entity or Entities)]


asshole, butthead, butthole, anus, anal, anal retentive, ass, rearender, Oneeye, ...

Dedication Page


To all those that provided me with
inspiration, by their examples.

All People are bci's at some time,
Many People are bci's much of the time,
But there are a few people that are bci's most of the time.

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Conceptualization
  3. Open-Unrestricted Types
  4. Broad-Specific Types
    Opinionated (Philosophical)
  5. Boss
  6. Vehicle
  7. Alcohol
  8. Ultimate
  9. Educational
  10. Grading
    Hall Of Fame
  11. Conclusion
  12. Appendices
    Appendix A List of Abbreviations
    Appendix B Cards
    Appendix C Awards
Note: Throughout this book "it" is used as the personal pronoun for a bci. It (or its, the possessive) refers to either male or female, since a bci really has no preference for gender and is not selective. Although there are situations that seem to bring out bci behavior more so in one of the sexes, in general, it does not appear that one sex happens to be more inclined to bci behavior.


The Basic Axiom Of BCI'ism

People are the only specie
capable of BCI behavior.

BCI \ c pronounced like sigh\ noun [Between the Cheeks Individual (Individuals or Institution)] (1982) \ plural, possessive or both -- 's: 1. Asshole, polite form. 2. Individual, group or organization that exhibits anus-type action or behavior. 3. Dumb, stupid or any adjective that is representative of reprehensible character or behavior. -- Alternate 1: BCP [Between the Cheeks Person (Person or People)] -- Alternate 2: BCE [Between the Cheeks Entity (Entity or Entities)]
  • Chosen because so many bci's are offended by the word asshole(s).
  • It can be used anywhere (including national TV), and it is four letters less to write/type. Consider that it will be used in this document more than 100 times, that's a savings of over 400 letters. Four hundred letters that I didn't have to be write/type and you don't have to read. You might say "what a bci."
  • Because bci is pronounced like the word sigh we can actually substitute a sigh. The bci probably wont know it is being addressed and even if it know it can't tell for sure that your not just sighing.
  • You are probably wondering what kind of bci would write a book like this anyway? Well, you'll just have to read on and figure it out. By the way, many people will say what kind of bci reads this stuff?
  • It is easy to understand how someone might question someone's sanity and wonder how I ever got started on a journey through the world of bci's. Well, technically speaking, it started when Bill Cosby used the word "asshole" in a TV routine. Neither before nor after using "asshole" did Mr. Cosby use any word that could not be used on national TV during Sunday gospel time; nevertheless, he was still very funny. Shortly afterward I began to ponder the question "Why didn't Mr. Cosby use another word?" Why use asshole and make that the only part of his routine not fit for broadcast TV? What other word or words could he have used? The following is a partial list of possible substitutes:

    idiot dumb stupid
    moron jerk slob
    uncouth f___ (1) mf (1)
    freak odd ball jackass
    crazy (1) turkey sob2
    dork nerd

    1. Fill in the blank with any word on the list, almost any derogatory pronoun, adjective or combination will do.

    2. DOB for female

    In looking carefully at the many, many possible synonyms and alternate words or expressions, the inescapable conclusion is that asshole is uniquely defined; no other word or expression conveys an equivalent feeling as does bci. However, there are times when some adjective or adverb is appropriate to clarify, intensify or give special meaning to bci; for example, stupid bci, a gigantic bci, the crazy bci, the dumb, moronic, uncouth bci.

    page 2

    Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary Defines Asshole as: 1: Anus 2: A stupid, incompetent or detestable person. Another dictionary had a similar first definition but the second was slightly different; 2: a contemptible person or thing.
  • Without any doubt these definitions are grossly inadequate.

  • No amount of explanation could adequately convey the correct meaning or the special significance that the word asshole may hold for each person, particularly at the time they use it.

  • It was interesting to note that "asshole" is included only in the most recent dictionary editions, from about 1984 or so. While exhaustive search has not been undertaken, "asshole" could not be found in any dictionary published prior to 1984. The search included several unabridged dictionaries. Dictionaries looked at were in numerous libraries and in book stores.

    As you read, you will see, perhaps, yourself and many others you know.

  • You might even consider telling someone you read about them.

  • Better yet, you can help support the author and publisher by sending those bci's you know a copy of this book with the appropriate lines highlighted.

  • In many things we do, as so-called intelligent beings, we exhibit a high degree of bci-ism and bci traits. The point is, in general, the human race is made up of a bunch of bci's. Perhaps you can find an exception here and there, or a standout in many specific circumstances. However, in examining the overall picture, you can see that we all fit someplace into the world of bci's.

  • As a race or, more appropriately, animal species, we have caused more unnecessary destruction and harm than any other living group. We constantly lose sight of what matters and is important.

    Just a little philosophy on why we have bci's. First, understand that we can probably never be free of bci's, even if we are alone on a deserted isle. Picture yourself walking, barefooted, along a beautiful sandy beach. The sun is warming and bright. The waves are rolling in quietly, soothing your nerves, you are at peace with yourself and the world -- you are in paradise. Screaming in anguish, you hop once and then fall down. You look at your foot; it is bleeding profusely, cut on a broken bottle. Some bci broke its bottle and then covered it up.

    Even if someone, you for instance, could find some place that was isolated from the rest of the world and all remnants of the world were gone, would it really be free of a bci? Since man (figurative speaking) is a social animal (boy -- some of us are real animals or bci's), one must wonder if the person who removes himself/herself from the world isn't some kind of a bci? Perhaps a smart one!

    In the final analysis it can be seen very simply that, like good and evil, black and white, ..., the bci is needed to fulfill the roll opposite to the non-bci. At this point in the unabridged version, you would have found a disclaimer. However, since most of the real controversial material has been removed, it has been omitted.

    page 3

  • Conceptualization

    The Fundamental Axiom Of BCI'ism

    BCI behavior is
    an equal opportunity field.

    As one studies the bci phenomenon and moves through the types of bci's, it can be seen that a person may fit more than one of the types. Details of the various types are explained in later chapters. Let's illustrate. Nearly anyone that has worked a long time has probably worked for a royal bci. If so, the following types would most likely also apply:
  • authoritative
  • frequent
  • situational
  • real
  • etc.,...
  • Therefore, when the various types are examined, there will be an effort to establish standardized criteria for determining types. These standards will be used when judging or awarding points. The ease by which we will grade the various bci's is dependent upon type and difficulty factors. For example, an authoritative bci might be considered a bigger bci than an occasional bci. A person awarding points would therefore give a higher score to the authoritative bci. Therefore, to promote fairness, grading should compare equals, that is, apples to apples, oranges to oranges and a royal bci to another royal bci. As one studies the phenomenon of bci's, there are certain traits which seem to stand out and run hand-in-hand with the bci-type personality or behavior. It can easily be seen that these traits are associated with values most people consider negative. Even most bci's would agree if it's not them being referred to. Here is a partial list of those traits:
    smug offensive boring
    egotist rude lazy
    arrogant insincere sarcastic
    inconsiderate abusive callous
    insensitiveant blunt reprehensible
    selfish vulgar twitish
    snobbish conceited liar
    materialistic pompous obstinate
    unreasonable agonistic drone
    uncouth discourteous annoying
    bad mannered tactless foul
    greedy impolite bigot/hypocrite
    ungrateful fanatic stupid
    vindictive pretentious dumb
    spiteful dupe ...

    page 5

    There is also a kind of bci that is not really a bci. One might call this type a crazy bci. To fit this mold, the following guidelines apply:
  • This bci is basically harmless.
  • Words that describe this bci are mischievous, weird, spontaneous, odd, unpredictable, funny,...
  • This type of bci does things to be funny or romantic, to make people like them.
  • As one moves through the types of bci's, one may wonder why the stupid bci has not specifically been defined as a type. Well, basically, all bci's might be considered stupid bci's. For this study, the various types will be structured into three categories by the degree of bci, as follows:
  • First degree -- Restricted (R) Types of BCI: The R type bci might well be considered a sub-specialty of one of the B-S type. The R type bci's performance is extremely limited and narrow in scope and range; for example, boss, vehicle.
  • Second degree -- Broad-Specific (B-S) Types of BCI: The B-S type bci falls into a specific range and scope which can be assigned a title 'of sorts'; for example, authoritative, special, sorry.
  • Third degree -- Open-Unrestrictive (O-U) Types of BCI: The O-U type bci is characterized by the unlimited or very general range of coverage. BCI's of this type are either a multiple or miscellaneous.
  • Note: The degree scale follows that of the burn scale, the higher the degree, the greater or more severe the bci.
    In addition to the degree type of bci's, there are two other dependent types which are ASSociate with them. A dependent type must be identified with another bci.
  • Dependent type 1, Reciprocating type BCI: Reciprocate -- to return in kind or degree. The reciprocating type bci is someone who reacts to a bci by being a bci in response. This bci might well be thought of as the Newtonian BCI because of Newton's Law, "For every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction." Therefore it follows, "For every type of bci there is an equal and opposite bci."
  • Dependent type 2, ASSociative type BCI: The ASSociative type bci is someone who goes along with a bci in deed or supports, either in a participative or passive mode. Consider also a couple of modifiers to the basic bci types.
  • Modifying type 1, Direct type BCI: A direct bci, of course the most common of the two, is one that a participant, observer or evaluator knows or is affected by the bci performance. The effect may be direct or indirect.
  • Modifying type 2, Indirect type BCI With the indirect bci there is no effect and the bci is unknown to an observer.

  • page 6

    A news item which provided an excellent example of an indirect bci was the one about a man that got stopped for drunk driving. After being pulled over and during the police officers review of the driver's skills, an accident occurred nearby. The man was told to remain where he was while the police officer walked over to check on the nearby accident. When the police officer returned, the man was gone. But, the officer still had the man's license. When the officer, along with a few other police, confronted the man at his home, he said, "It couldn't have been me. I've been home sick and in bed all day." His wife confirmed this. The police then asked him if they might have a look in his garage to which he said OK. When the garage was opened, they found the police car, the one the police officer was using when he stopped the man; the flashing lights were still on. There are many facets relating to bci personality and behavior which must be considered.
      Personal factors
    • I.Q.
    • Age
    • Sex (that is, gender)
    • Education (or lack of)
    • Number of events
    • Average number of performances per event
    • Family -- spouse, kids, relatives, ...
    • Social -- friend, club member, ...
    • Business -- coworkers, boss, peer, ...
    • Professional -- doctor, lawyer, politician, thief, ...
    • Random -- waitress, clerk, another shopper or student, ...
    • Physical -- vehicle, boat, alcohol, ...
    • Abstract -- authority, power, beliefs, ...
    • Imaginary -- ego, intelligence (lack of), ...

    page 7

    As I say on my homepage, it would really be great if you could give me some feedback -- good, bad or otherwise. I'm truly interested in what you've got to say. So let me thank you up front.

    Would you like to read more?

    Should I try to get the book published?

    If the book got published, would you buy it?

    If the book got published, would you like to add a story to the second edition?


    Age? -- Sex (i.e., Gender)?

    Name or User Name:

    E-Mail address:


    To read or posted a BCI Stories with scoring start by clicking here.

    Updated March 29, 2008